Drowning

I feel like I'm drowning in my life right now.

Slowly

but

surely.

Now, as a lifeguard, I should know how to handle the situation, if we were going on either a literal or metaphorical standpoint. But I really don't. I've been in control of my life (or pseudo-control) for so long now, I don't know how to handle this feeling. I have two completely different ideas in mind, but they would bring me down two completely, dynamically different paths in my life. So this decision is just weighing down on me, like a 50 pound weight that I have to retrieve from the bottom of the dive tank. And for some reason, I just can't get it up. Its almost like its lodged in a corner. But while I'm down trying to retrieve it I'm slowly loosing my oxygen supply that I took the one breath above water to fulfill. Foolish, because this feels like something that I'm going to need an oxygen tank to figure out.

So now I'm stuck at a point where I feel I need to make a decision. I need to come back up to the surface for air. But I don't want to face the possible ridicule that comes with making a different decision that will bring me down a different path than the one I'm on now. I also don't want to pursue something that I don't know if its right for me. That's what I'm doing right now. But there is no option that I know is right for me right now. I just want progression. I want something in my life to progress, and not stay at the standstill that it is now. I want some small source of oxygen while I try to remove the 50 pound weight.

Is that too much to ask?

What's that? It's Hot?

Guess what blogging world? I'm done with my first year of college! That's right, I'm no longer a Freshie (although credit-wise I never was)! I'm now a Junior, meaning I only have two more years of college. Class of 2013 here I come. And then PA school... But I'll think about the length that will add on at another point.

But being done means I'm on summer break now! What will I do with that break you ask? Probably a whole lot of nothing. But it will be an awesome whole lot of nothing! With a few awesome somethings here and there. I'm really excited for those awesome somethings. They will be, well, awesome!

There are a few things that I really want to do this summer:

1) Go up to my Cabin with some of my girls

2) Go camping with friends (Green's Peak... Shooting involved hopefully)

3) Hike Mount Baldy!

4) Tube the Salt River (only done it once in my life... How sad is that?)

5) Go to Silverton... Preferably on the fourth of July.

6) Denny's Date with Lora

7) Costa Tuesday's with Amber

8) More Shooting

9) Take my Jeep out... Jeeping.

10) Thatcher!

There are more, but they don't come to mind at this exact moment. We will see which ones will happen. There are a couple that will definitely happen, as they don't require much travel.

BUT ITS SUMMER BREAK!!!

which means i'm good with the heat

Cowboys

I love old men with cowboy hats in trucks. They make me happy. Life is a lot happier now than it was a week ago. Why? Because my chemistry final is over. Which means life can resume being happy. And then beyond that... The only things that I have left are anatomy and nutrition. Which I'm not all that worried about. Yay!

Chemistry = Death

School. Its killing me. Slowly, but surely. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to survive these next couple of weeks. Actually, its more like a week and a half. And I'm not really concerned about two of my finals... Only my final anatomy test (which will be difficult, but not too bad) and my chemistry test. That's what's going to kill me. Right there. I'm going to have to study so dang much for it, its insane. There are so many concepts that just went right over my head throughout the semester. And what's sad is that I knew them all at one point... I've just forgotten them, and they aren't coming back easily. So that means I'm probably going to log 20 + hours of studying specifically for chemistry in this next week. My mind wants to explode just thinking about it. Ouch.

So, that's why, if I disappear or become very antisocial for the next week and a half... You'll have a reason. Chemistry, anatomy and nutrition. I'll be done with my Religion class pretty soon... And then I'm done with my other nutrition class. So those three. But mostly Chemistry. Like next weekend, after my chemistry final, I should be somewhat more social. I cant wait!