Conflicting Feelings

Well, I hate to admit this, but I am conflicted pertaining to college AGAIN. I know, I know, its a bit too late, as I am already attending ASU, right? Well, true... Except for certain places that would be equal the cost. I could always transfer. Lol. Now, no college really appeals to me because of their standard of academics... None that I could get into, that is. And those are WAY too expensive. But there are other factors that matter. Don't get me wrong -- I like ASU, its way fun (except for the going to class part), but I just feel like something is missing from it. I don't know what it is... But it's something. And then you have the horrible weather. Yes, I understand that I have lived in Arizona all my life, and I should be used to the curse-ed heat. But I don't think you ever get used to it. Every summer it comes back, and it is horrible. But where else is there to go? No way am I ever going to live in utah (except for maybe PA school, at U of U). Colorado is extremely nice, but there is out of state tuition there. Even instate tuition in AZ without a scholarship is too much... Ruling out NAU and U of A (as if I would go to either of those). So then you have BYUH and BYUI. And I'm not a fan of BYU. Not to mention that 1) I'm not a minority (specifically Polynesian), so BYUH is out... and 2) I would like my school to have at least some standards academically.

And then again, maybe this has nothing to do with the school I'm going to. It could just be due to withdrawl from the twins. I mean, it would be so much better if they were here in Arizona with me. No matter what school they went to. I mean, I bet I could go to EA right now and be happy because Heather is down there. I wouldn't be satisfied with the academics, but my social life would be completed. I think its just because none of my extremely close friends are here with me right now. And that there is no potential for them to be here until the summer. Its horrible.

And its causing conflicting feelings.